On January 3, German Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock and French Foreign Minister Jean-Noel Barrot traveled to Damascus to meet with interim Syrian President Ahmed al-Sharaa. The visit came less than a month after the sudden fall of one of the most violent regimes in the Arab world – the Baathist dictatorship of President Bashar al-Assad.

There are a myriad of issues on the agenda for Syrian-European relations, not least regional stability, economic recovery, post-war justice and reconciliation, the refugee crisis, etc.

However, Western media chose to focus on Al-Sharaa’s decision to greet Birbok with a gesture and a smile rather than extending his hand to her, in adherence to Islamic religious norms. Critics in Western media described the incident as a “scandal” and “contempt.”

A Politico editorial went so far as to suggest that trifles like a handshake should become a new “litmus test” of how “moderate” a Muslim leader truly is. In the name of inclusivity, the Politico article implied that religious Muslim leaders like Sharia should be forced to shake hands with women – regardless of their religious teachings – otherwise this would set off “alarm bells” in the West. The old adage “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” has become “When in Syria, do as the Germans and French do.”

As a Syrian American whose father was exiled from Syria for 46 years, and whose family friends were tortured and killed by the Assad regime, I find the “Western test” of Arab leadership laden with contradictions and simply offensive.

I wonder where the media outrage was when Prince Edward, the British prince, made it clear that he preferred non-physical contact with ordinary Britons trying to greet him? Should we offer grace when the motive is personal preference and anger when the motive is religious obligation?

It is not surprising that the Western media is trying to impose Western cultural values ​​as a new test of moderation by Arab Muslim leaders. I’ve done this for decades.

As anthropologist Leila Abu-Lughod argued in her book Do Muslim Women Need Saving?, there is an assumption in the West “that liberal culture is and must be the universal standard by which societies can be measured. Those who fall short are the barbarians outside the gates.” .. “

The mere description of Islamic religious standards as “extremist” is a symptom of a hegemonic discourse through which Western standards are disguised as universal.

The bad news for those who subscribe to this view is that Western cultural values ​​are not as dominant as they think. Muslims and Arabs also have the ability to choose to observe their religious values ​​even when they challenge dominant cultural expectations in the West – although we have seen a willingness to bend those expectations when it comes to British royalty, and fear of coronavirus. 19 transmission, etc.

The media’s excessive focus on trivialities – such as Shara’s dress or personal mannerisms – seems trite in the context of the brutal repression that Syrians suffered for 61 years under the authoritarian Baathist regime.

Syrians face a “critical test” to evaluate their new leadership, such as the government’s ability to achieve democracy and freedom, restore and improve civilian infrastructure, unite Syrians and protect constitutional rights, not whether male members of the government shake hands with women. More pressingly, Syrians are concerned about the ability of their new leadership to guide the country toward peace, prosperity, and stability.

Half of the Syrian population is currently displaced, and more than 90 percent of the population inside Syria lives below the poverty line. There are severe shortages of food, water and electricity. Unemployment is widespread and the economy is in dire straits.

Then there is also the shock of living through a 13-year civil war and 61 years of authoritarian rule.

There is not a single Syrian family I know that has not lost family members or friends to Assad’s brutally oppressive regime. My childhood friends lost their father, Majd Kamalmaz, a psychotherapist and US citizen, when he went to pay his respects to his mother-in-law in Syria in 2017. A relative of mine from Aleppo lost two teenage brothers to torture in Assad’s notorious prison. Dungeons. My cousin spent a month in an underground prison because she was distributing bread in a slum in Damascus during the civil war. Family friends – such as Hiba Al-Dabbagh, who spent nine years in a Syrian prison in the 1980s because the regime could not find her brother – told horrific stories of torture.

After suffering for decades under one of the world’s most brutal dictatorships, Syrians are desperate for a fresh start, clinging to tattered threads of hope. They may have faced unimaginable horrors – mass murder, torture, systematic rape, repression, displacement – ​​but they are not helpless victims. They have a clear vision of the future they want.

If the Western media wants to get things right in Syria, they must reflect and recognize how their rhetoric and expectations can be shaped by decades of hegemonic bias. Instead of imposing a Western “critical test” on Arab leaders, it should ask the Syrians what they want from their leaders.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the editorial position of Al Jazeera.