“I am waiting for you to retire so that we can get a divorce.”

This was not the answer that the financial manager of one of the largest public companies in America expected when he tried an explicit exercise in the workplace on his wife. He wrote a dinner invitation indicating that they have a conversation about everything they had not talked about.

“Let’s talk about the things we need to say, but we may not talk about it today,” he wrote. “How is our partnership? How do I support you? What can I do better? I promise, I really want to hear how you think and feel.”

Her response – and the frankness of the discussion that followed – led to their marriage.

Waiting for exciting moments to give notes that are absent from daily opportunities to help each other grow. Comments should not be saved for annual reviews at work or family interventions at home. It is a gift that we can offer every day to those we care about.

Most of us prefer to avoid such facts. We left important things that do not go on our relationships, at home, and at work. We see colleagues struggle instead of presenting views that can help them grow. We left the frustration of their loved ones on low heat until it boils. Half Americans say that no one in their personal lives tells them difficult facts – at the workplace, this number rises to 71 %.

This type of comments requires re -wires how to think about cash. Most of us are conditional from childhood to hear reactions as a guidance; Our parents were not making suggestions when they said, “Don’t touch that!” Or “Sit up straight!” But the comments can be a perspective gift, and it is one of the recipients free to accept, modify or reject. Like search data that helps companies make better decisions, the comments we receive are simply data points that help us see our fields that we may work on and consider new possibilities.

I learned this lesson in the difficult way. As a gay child in the Catholic Catholic Pittsburgh, I grew up in the 1970s, left me with deep insecurity and obsession with success at any cost. My defensive walls contributed to the inability to make honest notes or receive them in failed, personal and professional relationships. I was the partner who could not hear the criticism without deviation, the leader who avoided difficult conversations until it was too late.

But I also saw what is possible when people are committed to daily frankness. In the cosmetic company I work with, two senior executives appear daily. The financial manager noted that her colleague, the marketing star, could benefit from the deeper financial knowledge to enhance her career. Instead of staying in her neighborhood, she actively brought her counterparts to profit calls and investor meetings. Meanwhile, her colleague trained the financial manager to tell stories and offer, and helped their mutual investments in the growth of each other in advancing the success of their company.

I saw this with my custody son Daniel. Parents and child’s traditional directions have not received anywhere. But one day, I tried a different approach: “Daniel, I am curious. Do you eat this way in school in front of the girl you are always talking about?” The presentation of the notes related to something that was interested in it often raises curiosity rather than defense.

The same approach works in any relationship. “I have some ideas that may help you to be more effective. Do you want to hear them? It is your call completely what you do with these inputs – it’s just my point of view, one data point to think about others.” When we frame the comments in this way, we remove the desired change pressure. More importantly, when we make these perspectives a daily practice rather than saving them to official talks, we create a continuous dialogue that strengthens relationships and helps everyone to grow.

Simple practices can help build these muscles. In Guatemala, we helped to teach children in the poorest societies to be trained to each other, which transforms educational results through daily peer notes. In places of work, I encourage the difference to present ideas regularly about each other’s ideas, competencies (such as driving), skills (such as technology use), and performance (accountable for each other on delivery). Even families can benefit from regular examination operations about what works and otherwise.

One of the strong practices is what I call “Open 360” – I used this practice countless times in the team’s environment and more recently from the family office that included the great array of the family, parents, their three girls and their husbands. Everyone takes turns to receive two types of comments from anyone else: “What I like most about you is …

The alternative to sincere comments – avoid conflict – is much worse than discomfort for a moment. I saw relationships while blocking facts. I have seen companies failing because people will not speak. In the era of polarization and rapid change, our ability to make honest notes and receive them not only our professional success, but the validity of our most important relationships.

Are you surprised if you call more honest comments from the closest to you? The truth may save more than one marriage, it can transform how we communicate with everyone in our lives. The key is to remember that the comments are simply the information provided freely and receive it freely, and the best participation is not in exciting moments but in small daily reactions that build stronger relationships.

The opinions expressed in cutting comments Fortune.com are only the opinions of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of luck.

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2025-03-17 15:00:00