Closed Paths, Open Futures | Nerd Fitness

I’m a huge Stephen King fan.

I’ve read the entire Dark Tower series, It, The Shining, Doctor Sleep, and my favorite movie is based on his novella. Rita Hayworth and The Shawshank Redemption.

So, at the request of several friends who told me it was their favorite book, I finally did it ​I started reading 11/22/63​.

Here is the head explosion hypothesis:

On November 22, 1963, three gunshots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed.

What if you could change it back?

Stephen King’s breathtaking new drama is about a man who travels back in time to prevent the assassination of JFK – a thousand-page novel.

Like any nerd, I’ve devoted a significant amount of my brain power to virtual time travel, the butterfly effect, and changing the past. I bet you have too.

Time travel is a tempting idea because our brains can’t help but think about “the road less traveled” and “what if I did X instead of Y?”

Which brings me to the topic of today’s newsletter.

Accepting that some paths are closed is incredibly liberating.

Some paths are closed

My friend Tim Urban in ​Waitbutwhy.com​ Make this chart about the life choices we’ve made to date, and the branching paths open to us tomorrow:

It’s really easy for our brains to become hyper-focused on all the dark lines in our past: the paths closed to us, the decisions we didn’t make, the decisions we made, and how our lives often seem “designed” now.

“Because of the way I’ve done this in the past, that’s the way things are.”

“It’s a pity that I never did XYZ, and now it’s too late. I have so many regrets!”

“I don’t deserve to be happy because of this mistake I made.”

We often forget that it is only possible to connect the dots of our lives looking back, as we made each decision with the best information we had at the time.

(If you’re looking for a solid read, Matt Haig ​Midnight Library​ is a thought-provoking fantasy story about alternative life paths and acceptance. Haig draws from the past ​A decision to almost take his life​.)

So let’s talk a little bit about those black lines and green possibilities.

Some paths may be closed!

I bring up all these things to make two points.

Author Chris Guilbeau, who greatly inspired my love of travel and influenced how I built Nerd Fitness, recently published an article about ​Celebrating with closed doors​.

We’ve all heard stories of people starting certain careers later in life.

For example it would be, “It’s not too late! Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his breakout role in Pulp Fiction until he was 46 years old.

Chris points out that sometimes…it’s too late:

Although these stories are inspiring, the lesson of “it’s never too late” is not universal. Sometimes it’s too late! To believe otherwise is to believe in imagination.

Some things in life have real deadlines, not all, but some.

In other words, sometimes we cling to something that we know we will eventually do “someday,” and perhaps refuse to accept the fact that… yes, it is too late.

Maybe we continue to hold out hope that we’ll eventually run a marathon…even though we hate running.

Maybe we keep holding out hope that we’ll write that cookbook… even though we don’t even like cooking anymore.

Maybe we can decide that some paths are closed to us. We can accept this.

The future isn’t set in stone either

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how to do just that ​The past is not set in stone​Because our perception of the story changes.

It’s okay to accept that maybe the dream we had when we were in our 20s is okay to die.

However, it is also tragic to assume that it is “too late” to make any changes in our future, that it has already been decided.

Betrand Russell once said: “You don’t have to be what you were five minutes ago.”

As Chris says:

“It’s never too late” for a lot of things, and that’s great. But sometimes it is, and that’s okay.

It’s never too late to learn something new. It’s never too late to try new things.

But it may be too late for certain paths, and that’s perfectly fine.

In fact, it’s worth celebrating.

Letting go of certain paths, or accepting that some paths may be closed to us, can make way for a different decision about moving forward in life.

You can decide later today to:

• Start lifting weights
• Take an online class for a new career.
• Try a new hobby.
• Talk to your doctor about ​Help with weight loss​.

We cannot go back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination.

Some paths of life are now closed to us.

That might be okay!

Instead of spending more brain power regretting our dark, blocked paths, we can start working on determining which green path we will take next.

-Steve

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